So in the span of my years, this is seemingly a long time coming.  But in the extent of His mercy, it’s but a twinkling of the eye.  I cannot help but feel the following words calling up from the pages and speaking unto my own circumstances:

“Brothers, think of what you were when you were called.  Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth.”

1 Corinthians 1:26

Indeed, I try not to think too much about what I was when I was called into this present Grace.  But dare I think I must now share that which I was?  Should I begin by describing the depths to which I sank amidst a sea of alcoholism?  Who hand-in-hand (or more aptly, chain-to-chain) dragged me asunder with moral assassins lust and obscenity?  Shall I describe in detail the sickly and corrosive fibers of my covetousness, selfishness, and wholly unflattering and double-wide ego?  Should I divulge as to the unhealthy proportions of hatred, greed, sloth, and self-loathing that dressed this colossal mess of a ‘man’? 

“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong; He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things — and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.” 1 Corinthians 1:27-29

Would you believe that I was once not unlike one Saul? I however distinctly lacking real intellect and zeal for righteousness, but rather living in a false and self-declared uprightness?  And who instead relying quite distastefully upon fanciful (and so-called) ‘knowledge’ and whet an eager appetitive for destructive rhetoric?  How I used to lambaste my saved sisters, becoming my own personal antichrist who sought to deal a deathblow to good faith because of my need to feed a festering wound in the shape and proportions of a man’s ego!  How I used to thump the less-than holy doctrine of evolution, which would now require more faith of me to accept than my everlasting savior Jesus Christ!

“It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God —that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption.”

1 Corinthians 1:30

I do not share these things so that I can proclaim how much better I am now.  Pride is like a panther that vigilantly waits to lurch between me and the Light, stealing joy and fellowship with God.  Whatever good has come in me has been from the inside and been working its way out.  It is by the power of the Holy Spirit dwelling within that I have been changed, and this is not by me.  And every day and in every moment still more is revealed that needs to be cast-off and put at His feet.

“Therefore, as it is written: ‘Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.’”

1 Corinthians 1:31

I write this for my friends and family who wander still in search of something that seems elusive. Like distant memories of a pleasant dream that disappears with the morning.  Perhaps you live day-to-day, uncomfortably within your skin, shifting and stretching, feeling as though you were meant for something more.  Like a sprinter who has legs to run, but hasn’t yet found their race.  I write this for the complete stranger who stumbled upon this message and God has chosen this moment to shine into their soul and peel apart darkness.  I write this to bring glory to Him.  For God does not need me to fulfill His will.  Yet He has invited me into this relationship and this calling to join Him in His purposes.

The Grace and Fellowship I now abide in, I do because He loved me first.  I am…completely unworthy of this gift and crumble in awe of what He has done for me, and for all.  And for you too, as you’re calling to believe, if it has not already come to pass, may be waiting in the twinkling of His eye.